so ive been looking at the pictures we took from a couple of weeks ago. and i cant stop looking at the one where were kissing.. the first one we took..

it brings back so many good times in my mind. i just want that so bad right now.

i miss our forehead kisses, and being intimate. i honestly want to be intimate so bad with you right now.

i know im cheesy but i watched dawsons creek today, and pace said to joey "how could i ever get over you. look at you" when she was drunk. it kind of reminded me of us.. a little lol.. then he kissed her on the forehead and tucked her in like you would.

baby youre the perfect man to me. i want you to know that im sorry for acting like a complete bitch this whole times you went back. i just really need you here and thats why. because i miss you, and i guess i was looking for someone to blame. :'( im sorry baby. didnt mean to take it all out on you. its none of your fault.

i couldnt sleep last night at all. and all i kept thinking about was us 10 years from now. i can see it. so perfectly. and i need you here wicked bad babe. i need you. i need your hugs and that feeling i get when you kiss me. its bad enough when i have to keep telling you that over the phone. but now i cant really even tell you that. because i just.. i dont know

im sorry for being so jealous.
i will seriously leave you alone for the duration nicks there.

i love you so much.

Hey baby...you mean everything to me. Thank you for blessing me with your heart...I am so sorry i am not talking a smuch as you and I need. I love you meg. You are my everything. The thing about portsmouth is, well, I really can see us living happily there and we already have so many beautiful memories, I just know we could have a billion more. I love you and I want to be with you more than anything else. Portsmouth is so pretty and tranquil and everything about the city is nice. I love you, and if you want to live in some crap place anywhere in the world, I will follow because I love you and to prove I love you, we could really move anywhere. I was just sayijng portsmouth because I don't know, I love you meg. You mean the whole world to me. I wish you and I could just be with eachother right now. I love you... I won't lie, I'm wicked horny for you and I know you don't want to hear that because you are so sad and I understand, but I am. I won't even get to have any intimacy with you for like another 2 weeks cause of your period, it's already been a month since you were intimate with me so I just am a little jittery because I want it so bad. I miss you a whole lot. You make me a man. I love you baby.

thank you so much for the pictures babe. i love you so much. i really hope i get to talk to you tonight or sometime today.

ive been kinda, not myself this morning and today. its weird. im not as happy as i was when you were with me. i hate that feeling. i ate the rest of my shorty's and it made me even sadder.

dawsons creek wasnt that good today.

it seems as if almost everything is just bland when youre away from me. like im cut in half exactly. i have half a heart. one eye. one leg. half a brain. half my tiny pipes. it kills.

i was washing my face this morning and just looking at myself, and i knew why i had the sad expression i did on my face. because you werent with me, getting ready in the shower while i brushed my teeth.

im gonna put some of our pictures in this layout if thats ok with you.

i love you.

i always will.

You don't have to believe me. It's fine. You can call me a liar, which is what you did by saying I never called. It's fine. if you want, call again and ask for lindsey, ask her to tell you whether or not I called...she knows because I said I had to call you, she saw me pick up the phone and she wanted to be with me but I told her I needed to call you first. So you accuse me of being a liar pretty much, you didn't come out and say it, but you did by insinuating that I lied about calling you...so I yelled, because if there's one thing with you I am, it's I love you and I never lie. I love you. You hurt me. Don't bother apologizing because I won't accept it. I just can't believe what being away from you has done to you...it's like you've forgotten who I am. Well fine,,,I hope you think about what you did today. I hope you still love me. I love you.

oh babe i miss you so much
i really just wish youd come home forever and never leave
i wish you and i would just live together and get it over with
i wicked need you all the time

ive been wondering alot on what your surprise is. hmmm.
i love you so much much much

my heart aches so bad when your gone
i never want to ever feel this pain again
and every second your away i seem to just slip into thoughts of me in your arms and kissing you

when im with you nothing in the world is bad
and i look at everything as beautiful
even stupid pictures that have no meaning all the sudden mean love

IM COMPLETLY AND UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH YOU JUSTIN TRASK-HASKINS AND IM GOING TO SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH YOU. I LOVE YOU!

everyday that goes by gets a little sadder..my heart weakens, and grows into this slump where everything I think is sad. I try to have a good time, and by all rights I should, but I'm still sad for you. You light up my life. I miss you so deeply. You keep me balanced in life. My heart needs you in order to survive. I am nothing without you, just a lost soul in a world that has always turned it's back on me when I needed it, and pretended to like me for no reason, without even knowing me. You mean the world to me. Talking is amazing for us...but... Loving you is mostly being with you...your soul and my soul...belong perfectly...I love you, and I am waiting patiently, for my hear to be whole, and working once again. I love you.

I'm waiting for us, I'm waiting for us to be romantic again, when we are together again. I need you. I know you want me happy, and to realize, that everything is perfect, and I am happy, but I need you with me, and it hurt kinda that I couldn't talk to you after 4 days and now this will be 5, I don't know if I'm just, pathetic, or looking for you to feel the way I do. I am not sure what goes through your mind in a weekend like this past one, but I'm sure it's not EXACTLY what goes through my mind. I just, I want us together, and I think the passion for us to be together hurts more than anything else because we are not always with eachother. I really want your passion for that exact thing to be equal, but I don't feel it is. I love you greatly, I just, I need this passion from you. I love you.

I LOVE YOU JUSTIN TRASK-HASKINS!!!!!



please think of me this entire weekend as i will think of you constantly. i love you so much. please, if you get down, just think of all the good times weve had, and all the dumb things ive ever done and said, and think about how much we love each other. baby im yours forever. i love you.




love always and forever,

megan heather haskins

I need you. I love you. I wish you could be with me. Thank you for writing in the journal baby. I don't feel like you really want to talk to me much lately, I mean you have been leaving wheenever we talk, and I know there's a good reason and you are great, and I hate how you said I should prentend, because I will be so happy to see you that I will never ever ever ever have to pretend anything while I'm with you baby. I'm a little upset that you have been leaving a lot lately...I mean I don't know why, but you seem like you don't want ot tlak to me for a long time. I mena I know you just said it but you have been saying you want to have a long talk and everytime I try to, you have to go or want to go or something, and now tomorrow you are going to be with amanda, which is fine becaus eyou should be out doing stuff, I'll just be lonely without you again. It depresses me. I'm not sure what I should do. I am always sad and I don't know what to do... I really wish you were around for me to have something to look forward to and lift me up. I guess I'll jsut be alone though, I know it's not like you can do anything and I'll just be here by myself all day anyway. So I guess I'll go now, I just hop eyou know I love you. It's 7 aready so I'm not sure as to when you wanted to call. or have me call. I am not mad at you, I'm just jealous because I always feel like others see you more than me. I guess I'll just have to live with it. I don't want you to feel bad because I feel sad, so ffor now on, I'm going to just not talk about it anymore,. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I have said that before but this time I really am serious. I hate to see my tears hurt you. I'll be fine. I just wish the lonliness would stop, it's not easy for me, sometimes I feel like I used to when I lived in ri before. I guess I'm just not a person who likes being alone. I'll be thinking about you when I leave for my workout appointment at the YMCA, but I won't be gone long. I'll call you when I get home. I'll be missing you. I am now. I love you.

i decided,
that im going to be the best i can be

no more complaining when you already do so much for me
no more yelling at you when theres absolutly no reason
no more fighting and agruing with you
because youre always right

i love you so much justin
i just want you to know that

this fourth of july weekend im going to hurt so bad without you

please, please, please, have a good time with me while youre here this week. even if you dont, please pretend to. i know i may not be the most fun person to be around, or say and do the smartest things, and maybe sometimes i get annoying and so do my jokes.. but i enjoy your company and i love when youre there with me, so please im begging you to have a good time.

i love you so much.
i hope tonight you call at some point because i need one of those long phone calls.

i love you